


He Isn't Coming Home

by xKyosan



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Comicverse)
Genre: Infinity War (Marvel Comics), M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-04-29 04:04:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14464620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xKyosan/pseuds/xKyosan
Summary: Tony returns to Earth after losing the battle to Thanos. Upon his arrival he tells Wade about Peter.Under the pressure of the situation, Wade crushed his own skull. The very fabric of his universe is shifted. Perhaps there is hope, or perhaps his gone even more insane.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> SPOILERS!!!!!!  
> I listed the MCD because of the movie, so if you didn't watch it, you PROBABLY SHOULDN'T READ THIS! Unless you don't care about spoilers. 
> 
> Also, since the cinematic version of Spiderman is in fact 15, (and 28 in the comics) I'm going to do my best and base this off comic characterization rather than movie characterization, because obvious reasons, though the movie is what sparked the idea for me.

“I’m sorry, Wade.” 

“You’re sorry?”

“Thanos was too powerful! I tried to get him home. But even if I had - Look, there’s still a chance he’d be gone.”

“How? How is there a chance, Stark?”

“Thanos didn’t just kill him, he killed billions and billions across the entire universe. There or here, Peter... still could’ve died.”

“No, you’re wrong. That  _ thing _ picked him because he was up there fighting. If you had sent him home-” Wade stopped short, his voice cracking under the tears. 

“I’m sorry Wade, but Peter isn’t coming home this time.” Tony turned from the door stoop. He took slow and careful steps down. He turned to look back at Wade for a moment, tapping his glasses against the heel of his palm. 

“I’m gonna fix this, Wade.” 

 

He was gone, around the corner before Wade had time to settle his breathing. He hadn’t sobbed like that in a long time. 

 

The day creaked by, his eyes glued to the clock, watching the second hand strike again and again. The worst of it all, he couldn’t die. He couldn’t cease, killing himself wasn’t an option And if he was being honest with himself that’s what he wanted to do more than anything. To climb up on the roof and jump - but it wouldn’t end him. Just turn the emotional pain into physical. That didn’t sound too bad either.

 

He didn’t realize it, but he’d fallen asleep. Night had come quickly. When his eyes opened the clock read 1:00. He stared at it, gulping down the oncoming rush of sadness that hit him. His bed had been empty at that time before - but that was because Peter was saving someone, somewhere. This time - he was dust. 

The tears came rushing, and Wade clutched at his pillow, pressing it hard into himself, a bleak effort to settle is rampant breathing. He took in short gasps of air, blubbering spit and tears into the fabric. 

_ “Wade?” _

He shook his head - it wasn’t real, he knew that. It wasn’t. It wasn’t.

_ “Wade? It’s really cold here.”  _

“Pete?” Wade kept his eyes closed, gulping down more chaotic crying.

_ “Wade - I love you.”  _

“I love you too.” 

_ “Look at me?” _

“I can’t Peter, you - you, aren’t here... “ 

_ “I’m here. I’m here.”  _

Wade’s heart lurched in his chest. A rush of warmth came cascading around his body, and everything was light, airy. He felt dizzy. 

_ “Come with me, Wade?” _

“I….can’t…..” Wade tried to mumble more out, but, everything was spinning, too fast. And the edges of his sight felt prickly. He still wouldn’t open his eyes. 

**_“Come with me, Wade.”_ **

“No. This isn’t you.” 

**_“COME WITH ME, WADE.”_ **

“Peter, I love you. I love you so much. More than I was ever good at showing. I love you more than I ever knew how to love someone. It shouldn’t have been you. It should never have been you. You were always supposed to outlive me.  _ Me. _ It was supposed to be  _ me.  _ Never you.” 

**_“_ ** **_COME WITH ME WAAAAAADE!_ ** **_”_ **

“NO! You aren’t real! You are not Peter. You are  **not** Peter. You. Are. Not. Peter. Get out!” Wade’s voice shrieked over the silence of the apartment. His hands clasped tight around his skull, pressing and pressing and pressing, until he heard a pop - and pain. So much pain he couldn’t think. His body went numb. The brink of oblivion came crashing in on him, and all he could do was crack a smile. 

  
  


His body was heavy, but weightless in the world. His feet braced to the ground. He looked down at himself, naked, but smooth. His scars were gone - vanished. 

“Wade.” 

“Peter?”

“Waaade.” The figure approached him, cloaked in shadow. There were no rules there. A desolate wasteland of sand and rock. The sky intertwined itself in colors of grays and pinks, then oranges and blues. There was no reason. The sun was high, yet darkness encompassed them. Like an eclipse. But so many shadows. 

“Peter, why-”

“Come with me, Wade.” Peter’s voice waved, from high to low. There was darkness in him. “Come.” Crackling. “Come with me.” He held out his hand to Wade. Shadows escaped through him, devouring the world around them. 

“I- I don’t want to.”

**“Come with me, Wade.”** Wade could feel Peter’s smile. Sinister, dark. 

“No,” Wade shook his head, stepping back just enough to feel the ground go beneath him. He stepped back again. The earth splintered and cracked. He found himself falling, slow, through the air, like he was a feather. Why did he feel so weighed down. 

**_“You can’t escape me, I’m iiin your miiiiiiiind.”_ **

“NO! Get out of my head!” Wade fell to the sharp rocks below. A cavern, the intestines of the planet. Everything was bleak, gray and dead. He’d never seen such lack of life. 

**_“Don’t you want to see me again?”_ ** There was a heavier echo here. Darker than the world above. 

“I want to see  _ Peter _ again. You, you are not Peter.” Wade felt the ground around him, wondering if it would give way and drop them to another layer. 

**_“I can shooooow you. Where he reeeeeeeests. In Darknesssssss.”_ **

“Can you talk normally please? This whole elongated word thing is really creepy.” Wade stood himself up, hands going to his hips. “Also, clothing would be nice.”

**_“Come, child. Come child of darkness. Come to me. And you will have what you desiiiiire.”_ ** The depths of the voice radiating from the thing were of a level no human should reach. 

“Me, get what I want? Ha, ha, hahah, hahahahahah.” Wade bent a little bit, grabbing his stomach. “That’s hilarious!” His face stood serious and sharp. 

**_“You wish for this?-”_ **

From water and ash, a form. Human. Air filled lungs made of carbon turned diamond from the heat of creation. Skin made from dirt, cloaked bones of rock. Features, carved into the clay of the shadowy creation, until more and more it looked human. Naked, raw, pooled and curled into itself. The most primal of state. 

“Peter?” Wade’s heart slammed into his chest, breath quickened, the air felt thin. He reached out, kept at bay by the shadow creature. 

**_“You wish for this, nooooo?”_ ** The heavy echo hit him harder that time. Wade lifted his eyes to meet the figure who stayed as hidden as possible in the cavern. 

“Yes. Yes I wish for this. For him.”

**_“Come with me, child, come with me and you will have all these things and more. Step closer child.”_ **

“No - this isn’t. He isn’t-”

“Wade? Wade? Where am I? Where’s Thanos? My chest - agh.”

“Peter?!” Wade crashed onto his knees, reaching out to grab Peter. The walls hadn’t moved, he was kept at bay, again. 

**_“If  you do not want this -”_ ** the creature waved it’s hand again. Peter reached out for Wade, turning to dust, slow, bit by bit. 

“NO, no , no, no, no, no! No! Please, please, please!” Wade looked at the figure then at Peter. 

“Wade, wade - I don’t wanna go. I don’t - It was dark, Wade? Wade? I love you. I love you, I’m sorry I didn’t come home.” 

“I’ll go!” Wade stood up, chest heaving as silent tears poured down his face. 

“Wade?” 

**_“Your decision is wiiiise, Child of Darkness.”_ **

“Wade?!” Peter reached up at him, still curled into himself, naked as the earth he was forged from. 

Wade knelt down before him again. He watched as the shadow cage fell from around Peter’s body. 

“I love you.” He reached out, lacing his fingers with Peter’s. “That-” He glanced at the shadow creature. “It made you from dirt. From  _ dirt _ , Peter.”

“Wade, no, you can’t.”

**_“Come, child.”_ **

“I’m sorry - I had to save you.” Wade leaned his head into Peter’s, closing his eyes. 

“What’s going to happen to m-”

 

Peter vanished.

 

“Where is he?!” Wade shot up, moving towards the figure. He found himself unable to move after only a few steps. 

**_“Caaaaalm, I’ve retuuuurned him to where he beloooooongs. Eaaaaarth.”_ **

“If you hurt him-”

**_“He is saaaafe. Thanos has no pooooower over I.”_ **

“Thanos wiped out half the universe with a snap of his fingers. And you think Peter will be safe on Earth, just because.” Wade threw his hands up.  

**_“Thanos understaaaaands nothiiiiing.”_ ** The shadow pulled Wade along, disappearing into the labyrinth of caves. 

Wade followed along behind, without much of a choice. But, everything about it felt strange. The ground wasn’t hard beneath him, and the air was too light to breathe. His body felt tight and heavy, but he moved with such ease. 

“What- what is this - place?” He gasped for air, stumbling over his feet. 

**_“Tenebras. Inanis. Nihilitatas.”_ **

“My iglatinpay is a little rusty.” 

**_“The Daaaaarkness. Voooooid. Nothingnessssss.”_ **

“Is that why - I can’t…. Breathe?” 

The creature halted, turning back to look over Wade. The way it swayed through the air like a serpent. Inhaling his scent as though it was learning everything about him. Studying eyes. It blew on his face, a cloud of black pooled around him, into every hole it could find. 

His feet hit the ground, a few rocks jabbing at his bare skin. He held onto the rocks beside him for stability. The darkness consumed every inch of his body, cloaking him in it’s power. His lungs filled with air, cleaner than anything he’d ever tasted before. 

“Where are my scars?” 

**_“Those laaaaws do not affect thiiiis exisssstence.”_ **

“What?” Wade stood himself upright. More dark smoke came hurling towards him, covering his naked body. 

**“** **_Those scaaaaars - they caaaaannot exisssst heeeeere.”_ **

“Why?” 

**_“Creationssss of Man have nooo power heeeere.”_ **

“Where is  _ here _ ?” Wade took a few steps, feeling out the suit created by the powers of darkness. 

**_“Oblivioooooon.”_ **

“What?” Wade moved about the cave, stepping closer and closer to the cold wind he’d been feeling. He took one step further, through what he had thought was just a tunnel. 

“Oh.” He stopped, looking out at - he couldn’t really tell what it was. But it looked as though they were on the edge of  _ everything _ . “Is this - the future?” He looked back, over to the shadow. 

**_“There is nooooo tiiiiime here.”_ **

“I don’t understand. Do you want to help us defeat Thanos?” 

**_“All things must be baaaalaaaanced.”_ **

“Is that a yes, or a no?” 

**_“Child of Darknesssss. There is muuuuch you do nooooot knoooow.”_ **

“Why me?” 

**_“Your soul.”_ ** The creature reached out. It’s hand dipped into Wade’s chest, through his body like it was nothing.  **_“Your soul.”_ **

“My soul what?” Wade grunted, taking in a short and sharp breath as the creature pulled back. 

**_“Sadness. So muuuuuuch. Tristitia.”_ ** It held nothingness in his hand, staring at it as though it was everything. 

“I don’t understand.” 

**_“Felix, Timor, Furorem, Tristitia.”_ **

“Are you naming people?” 

**_“You muuuuust contain aaaaall. Souls.”_ ** The shadow reached out to him, again. Wade still saw nothing in its hand. But whatever it saw, was real. Its hand pressed passed his body again. His chest tightened, and his eyes watered until tears came pouring down his face. His veins rushed hot with rage, and his cheeks pulled his lips into a smile, all while he saw Peter dying before his eyes. 

**_“Child of Darkness. Child of light.”_ ** The shadow pulled its hood away. It really did look like Peter. Every inch of it, everything but it’s voice. 

“Wh-at’s happening… to me?” Wade grunted through the immense power surging through him, barely able to breathe.

**_“There are oooonly twoooo powerssss in existencccccce.”_ **

“What?” 

**_“Light and Dark. Life and Death. To be, or not.”_ **

“What?! How - shit - how do we beat Thanos?!” 

**_“Balance. My child. Balance.”_ **

  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade confronts the shadow for more information and is left feeling even more overwhelmed than before. Why can't he just get a straight answer?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shampoo snow is a real thing. Google it.

“Look,” Wade nodded towards the shadow. “I’d really appreciate it, if you’d  **stop** talking in riddles.” He rolled his head back, looking up into the nothingness surrounding them. 

If he had to describe it, he’d compare it to a vast wasteland of grey sand. Almost like the moon. But, soft, like homemade shampoo snow. Every step he took left a clear imprint of his body against the elements of that world.  

But not the shadow. It left no markings, no obvious signs that it had stood where it stood, or moved where it moved. Never a sound against its feet. Not even a gust of air from it’s body as it passed by Wade to the edge of the cliff. 

Wade followed, drawn to the darkness it had - or rather, the lack of light. He wasn’t entirely sure. All he could chalk it up to was that it pulled him in, called to something in the pit of his chest. 

**_“Things must exisssssst in unison.”_ ** Like a snake, it slipped out and into the open space of that world. Nothing made sense. Wade stood at the edge of the cliff, closer and closer to falling into oblivion. He moved his foot forward, knee bent as he searched for something solid. Nothing but space around him. The edge of everything. But, he felt pressure meet his boot.

He inched further, putting more weight on it. Walking on air. He took a full step out, off the cliff - smiling behind his mask. 

He hadn’t realized how the shadow suit had mimicked his actual suit back on Earth. But the color was different. Almost, bland. Not boring, but - nearly void of the red. Everything in that world seemed so calm, tranquil. Without too much of the other. It felt different. 

He took another full step out into the world, looking to the shadow figure. It was much further ahead, and stopped only for a moment. Wade caught a glance of its eyes. He tried to decipher exactly what he was looking at but the features blurred into a dark black before his brain could make sense of it. 

“Hey!” He yelled out, quickening his pace. 

**_“Thanos believesssss the destruction of billions will create baaaalaaaaance. He has angered the cosmossssss.”_ ** The figure stopped dead, turning to look down at Wade. It was still in the motion of space. Clouds light years in the distance moved as though they were blown by wind he couldn’t see. 

Smokey shadows faded from where it’s eyes should have been to reveal what rested beneath, void. Nothing. No face. No features. As the smoke cleared away, more and more, Wade realized there was no  _ person _ beneath the shadow robes. It was all just darkness. 

“Then... how do we defeat him?” Wade didn’t move his attention from the creature, making sure to keep his eyes on it’s every movement. He hadn’t any idea if the entire thing was even real. Maybe he whammed his head good, maybe he was just dreaming. Real of not, however, he couldn’t trust it.

**_“We must fiiiiiiix the imbalancccccccce.”_ **

“You made Peter come back from sand, or dirt, or whatever. Can’t you just undo it all?” He rested his hands on his hips, feeling the realness of everything the creature had created. 

**_“Nooooo.”_ **

It felt to Wade as though the creature wanted to laugh, but didn’t know how, or why it should. As though it was learning human behavior from him. 

“Why did you choose to look like Peter?” 

There was an eerie silence in the openness of the realm. No buzz of life, no buzz of silent electricity. Just the cold unwelcomeness of solitude. 

**_“Your acheeeee was felt throoooough the veil.”_ ** It reached out to Wade’s chest. Its palm pressed flat against him, just over his heart. For a moment, it had eyes, and they locked with Wade. It looked so much like Peter. So much when it chose to.

“What?” 

**_“The deeeeeeath of your looooooove.”_ ** Its hand pressed a little harder, the form reaching through Wade and to his heart. 

“So?” He stepped back, forcing its hand to drop. It lingered in the air for a moment, half tense. Wade could see it decoding his behavior. The sudden aggression through the distance he created. 

**_“It was the only waaaaay.”_ ** It turned away from him, heading further into the open air around them. So much open ended universe. But he felt tied down and flat. 

Wade looked around. It was like they were walking  _ between _ existences. Like he was sucked into a TV screen, but  _ just _ the screen. Like he was 2D in their 3D. It was - strange. 

**_“Thanos believessssss that he has creaaaaaated balancccccce. The Universe was already balancccccced.”_ **

“But with all the imbalance - how can you say it was balanced?” Wade moved after the relentless shadow.

**_“Imbalanccccccce is baaaaaalaaance.”_ **

“So, let say it  **was** balanced, and Thanos fucked that up - how do  **I** fix it? How do we undo what he’s done?” He quickened after the creature again, taking care where he stepped. 

**_“Chaaaaaos.”_ **

“What?” Wade stopped looking up as the creature moved higher on the level of existence. 

**_“Chaosssss. The Origin.”_ **

“I don’t get it.” 

**_“Chaos - The Origin of liiiiiife and deeeeeath, looooove, and haaaaate.”_ **

“Ok, still not making much sense about how that’s going to fix this giant ass mess.” Wade stopped, crossing his arms in protest. 

The shadow looked back down at him, and Wade was  _ certain _ it was rolling its nonexistent eyes at him. 

**_“Chaos is aaaaaall thiiiiiings.”_ ** Before Wade had noticed the shadow was right before him, swaying and moving like smoke in the wind. 

“Exactly how is that going to help us?” 

**_“Wheeeeeen releeeeeased it will repaaaaaair.”_ **

“How does Chaos repair Chaos?” He threw his hands in the air again, shaking his head. “I’ve gotta be dreaming, there’s no way this is real!” 

**_“Chaaaaaaos applied to Chaos wiiiiiiill neutraliiiiiiiiiize. But use caaaaaaaution, for uncontrooooooolled Chaos will destroy aaaaaall.”_ **

“Riiiiight.” Wade rolled his eys, moving away from the shadow. “Look, just so there’s not hard feelings, thanks and all for saving Peter. Honest. Thank you - but uh, this is like WAY above my pay grade so I’m gonna sit this one out.” 

**_“Caaaaaareful, Child of Darkness.”_ ** The creature followed after him. 

“What?” Wade pulled back, looking down his nose at the wavy form. 

**_“You know not.”_ **

“What do I know not?”

**_“You know not.”_ **

Before Wade could ask again, the scenery changed. Their apartment. Peter was clutching a pillow so tight Wade thought for sure the seams would break. 

**_“Chaos. Chaos.”_ **

“Peter!” Wade tried to move towards him, but felt a wall go up that kept him from feeling anything. “Why can’t I reach him?” 

**_“Chaos.”_ **

_ “Reports are coming in now. They are still struggling to determine the body count - What? Where? - I don’t-” _

“What’s going on?” Wade looked at the shadow for a moment, eyes hard and angry. 

**_“Thanos’ deeeestructioooon.”_ ** It looked towards the television in the living room.  **_“Eaaaarth is dyyyyyyying.”_ **

Again, before Wade could ask, their were in the news studio. 

“What do you mean - no, no, that’s not possible.” 

“Jeff, what’s going on?” A girl walked up to him. Wade couldn’t stop looking at her, she was a child. An intern?

“Russia is firing Nukes.” The man fell back into his seat, staring at a stack of papers. His face - lifeless.

“What?!” her hands covered her mouth, hiding the gasp. But the fear in her eyes, it was impossible not to see it. 

 

“Tell me how to fix this!” Wade turned to the creature, screaming, pointing at the anchor who couldn’t see him, couldn’t hear him. 

**_“Yooooou can nooooot aloooone. Only with Chaossssss.”_ **

“Whaaaaat?!” He threw his hands into the air, “Then why the hell did you track me down! Why bring me here?!”

**_“Yooooou must awaken the Chaoooooos.”_ **

“Who is this Chaos guy? Where is he?” He wanted to shake the shadow, but he felt that any attempt to touch it would fail.

**_“Only thooooose with Darkness and Light can awaaaaaaken Chaooooos.”_ **

“Pleeeeease, enough with the riddles, man!” Wade turned away from him, looking to the newscaster. 

**_“I will take yooooooou.”_ **

“Why can’t you just fix it?”

**_“In my priiiiiime - perhapssssss. I am aaaaaaged. Deeeeeeeeath will come for meeeeeee soooooooon.”_ **

“You can die?” Wade turned back to the shadow. 

 

The surroundings had changed again. He looked about, another vast wasteland. The air felt heavier there. Though, his body didn’t feel so tethered to the reality of it. 

**_“All things must end,”_ ** The creatures hand landed on a stone coffin, in the middle of the ocean of space, between time and realities,  **_“even light.”_ **

“Light dies? But if light dies then only darkness exists...” Wade turned his head, wondering if we in the ballpark of correct. 

**_“Noooooo.”_ ** It turned to him. A hand placed against his chest again.  **_“Peeeeeter - light. Wade - Darknesssssss.”_ **

“What?” Wade looked down at its hand against his chest. “Are you… both?” 

**_“My chiiiiild heeeeeere.”_ ** It looked back to the tomb.

“I don’t understand?” 

**_“Oooonly balance…”_ **

“Peter’s the light?” 

**_“One cannot exiiiiiist without the ooooooother.”_ **

“Are you - both?” 

**_“I waaaaaaas. Once split - Deeeeeath.”_ **

“Why would you do that?” 

**_“Your sooooooul - torn.”_ ** It’s head bowed, hand returning back to the tomb.  **_“Your soooul… Your sooul,”_ ** it’s voice was changing, stabilizing almost.  **_“Your soul has always been torn.”_ ** It was sounding more like Peter, more human.  **_“You’ve always wanted to be good - but the darkness in you, it’s hard to ignore sometimes.”_ **

“Why him? Why did you have to look like him?!” 

**_“For you to understand what is at stake.”_ **

“I still don’t understand what I’m supposed to do!”

**_“Release my child. He will mend your reality.”_ **

“I don’t understand how he’s going to help. None of this makes sense!” He saw the creature fading. The black wasn’t as black, it was graying away. “Wait, wait! How do I wake him up! Hey, hey!” 

**_“Chaos, once released in the void can repair what has been done. But the power can only be contained when light and dark exists as one.”_ **

“That doesn’t make sense! Come on dude!” 

**_“Light cannot exist without darkness, and darkness cannot exist without light. You must find your way back to Peter. He is the light of your soul, and you are the darkness of his.”_ **

“What?!” Wade groaned, taking in a deep breath. “I don’t understand ANY of this!” 

**_“Chaos can only exist - the tomb only opened, by those of light and dark. Peter is your light, you are his dark. Only the two of you can awaken the Chaos.”_ **

“Then why the fuck didn’t you bring him here with me?!” 

**_“Peter refused to escape the destruction of his physical form.”_ **

“He  _ what _ ?” Wade narrowed his eyes on the shadow. “Are you telling me that  _ thing _ that looks like him,  _ isn’t _ him?!” 

**_“Without what makes Peter, Peter, yes.”_ ** The shadow nodded.  **_“You must find him. My time is shorter than I thought. Find him, Wade, and bring him here. You have been been given my aura. It will guide you through realms which Thanos cannot occupy.”_ **

“What? He has ALL the Infinity Stones! How can he  _ not _ occupy whatever he wants?” Wade moved towards the creature. But it was too concerned with the tomb before it. He looked at the rock, staring at the intricate sculpting. 

**_“I am sorry. You will find him if you follow your heart. You will defeat Thanos. Chaos. In. The. Void.”_ **

 

Nothing but blinding white heat. No shadow. Darkness that faded to light. None of it made any sense. Why was the shadow figure like Peter. Where was he? How had Thanos not known he was there. Why did he feel out of place. Tethered to nonexistence.

And who the fuck was this Chaos guy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like feedback! Please leave a comment about what you like or where you would like to see the story go!


	3. scrap

Hey guys, I've decided to scrap this fanfiction. I'm sorry if you're disappointed! I'm just feeling really weird about writing it based off the movie since Peter's underage in the movie! Though I've been basing him off the comics it just feels too weird for me to continue. I'm sorry! Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> I originally was going to have this be crazy short, and basically just a short story of Wade mourning Peter - but then things happened.


End file.
